"What are some helpful stress and time management techniques for a person such as myself attempting to balance being a full-time college student, full-time employee, wife, friend and mommy to two cats and a puppy?"
First of all, Atlas, it's so sweet of you to assume I'd be good enough at stress and time management to be any kind of helpful. Ha! I kid, I kid. Often, I'm afraid, time and stress have an inverse relationship: a lack of time leads to more stress, and more stress leads to a lack of good time management. Then it's tougher-than-tough to claw your way out of either situation. What do you do?
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Not that. Well, maybe that for a few minutes.
Whichever side you find yourself on, there is hope! Realizing this fact is the first step to climbing out of your stress/time nightmare. We all have our own particular stresses. My friends and readers know some of mine: trying to conceive, a rambunctious puppy, occasional familial stubbornness, money flow (or lack thereof), and the list goes on.
You, Atlas, seem to have quite a bit on your plate. However, that exact list of stresses has been handled before, and it will be again! Here's a couple tips just for you to help you tackle your particular list of stresses, and others which might come up.
1) It's okay to let things go every now and then. It's exhausting trying to be super mom/dad/friend/student/etc. Sometimes the best stress relief is simply only attending to what absolutely needs to be done, and that's it.
Does your puppy need to be out where he'll be getting into things and making you want to tear your hair out? No. In fact, some trainers suggest you kennel your puppy when you're not specifically paying attention to him. That way, he doesn't grow up thinking it's okay to run around chewing on things just because you're not always paying attention.
Do you have to stay up late doing things which may or may not really matter at the moment (such as watching a movie or listening to music?) No. Go to bed early. Even if you don't drift off right away, it's still relaxing to lay in bed and your body will definitely thank you in the morning.
2) Time can always be found. With seemingly-little time on your hands, looking at your day as "I need to do this, this, this,..." can be daunting. Take it a little at a time, and tackle small tasks whenever you have a window of opportunity - which might mean doing something while waiting to be able to finish something else. For example, tonight I threw dinner together (Bubble-Up Pizza - YUM), and, while it was baking, I tackled the dishes and tidied-up my kitchen. At the same time, Charles - ever the good husband - sat in the kitchen with me, talking about this or that, but sometimes simply listening to the music we had playing on my laptop.
Although I was getting a lot accomplished (cooking dinner, washing dishes, spending time with the hubby), I didn't feel overwhelmed because I wasn't trying to fit everything in separate time-slots. (Just make sure to set a timer or something if you're cooking, because it can be so easy to forget and burn your food!)
3) Multi-tasking isn't always best. During high school, I was in a car crash which left me with a concussion. Said concussion messed with my brain function at the time, and it hasn't been quite the same ever since. At the time, I had several large projects due, and seemingly no way to do them all. I had to learn that, although it's great to get a bunch of things done at the same time, multi-tasking isn't always the most efficient when you have important tasks to finish. I had to learn to focus on one project or paper at a time, or my work on all of them would be sub-standard. (I would like to point out that in my previous dishes and dinner scenario, I was technically only working on one thing at a time - I just wasn't waiting out the time for dinner to get done.)
At school, I found that, although I enjoyed listening to music while working, it often was more of a distraction than I had intended it to be. This is true for anything from music to videos, to Facebook (oh, I am so guilty of letting Facebook distract me! Please tell me I'm not the only one who instinctively goes there when getting on the computer.)
Some people are capable of doing multiple tasks successfully, but the truth is it's really better to focus all your attention on important tasks, especially if said tasks require serious brain-power.
4) Be consistent/Don't let things pile up. I dislike doing the dishes. It's not necessarily because it's hard, or it takes a lot of time - it's because I tend to let them pile up so when I do get around to them, they take f-o-r-e-v-e-r. The same goes for homework, other housework, even relationships. If you're consistently taking care of things while they're small, you won't have to worry about spending exorbitant amounts of time on one thing. Especially if you're still in the husband, wife, and no kids stage, dishes after dinner don't take very long, laundry doesn't pile up too terribly fast, and it doesn't take long to stop and say "hey, I love your face" every now and then.
Projects don't need to be finished all at once. Work on them a little at a time. If you have a research paper, instead of doing the research, writing, and editing it all the night before it's due (I know a lot of us are guilty of this), work on it when you have free time especially right after you receive the assignment. You will be a lot less stressed if you space out the work, and there's nothing better than getting to a deadline and knowing you've been finished for a week or two already. Plus, think of all the time you'll have free for other things!
5) Set aside specific special couple/rest time. From the beginning of our relationship, Charles has known how important it is to me that I get a significant amount of his attention (I'm needy - don't judge). Sometimes the best stress relief is just cuddling on the bed together (unless, of course, your partner is the cause of the stress.) Marriage is a wonderful institution where two people pledge to be there for each other through thick and thin. Don't let work, school, friends, or anything else weaken that relationship.
While at school, I found it particularly helpful to avoid any kind of work on Sundays. (I realize this is impossible for some people, but hear me out.) It was so wonderful getting to Sunday after a hectic week full of classes and social events to be able to have one day specifically for de-stressing. Since I was determined not to work on Sunday, it was basically a "rule" and I didn't feel obliged to attend to anything school-related. Sure, it meant I had to finish Monday's work Saturday night, but imagine the freedom of heading into a new week after having truly had a day to relax. No homework, no chores, just relaxation and peace. Even though I had cut down on my time available for doing work, I found the work still got done, and I was more relaxed throughout the week. Then I still had the next Sunday to look forward to. It was great!
I don't currently have any school obligations, but I still hold on to this rule. I have been doing my best to get at least a majority of the chores finished before Sunday rolls around. As any homemaker can tell you, it's great walking through your house and feeling like you don't have to do anything right away.
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I might end up adding more to this list as time passes, but I believe these are my current top five. I hope they help and please give your furry loves a squeeze for me!!
Readers: What are your favorite stress/time management tips and how have they helped you?
Sincerely,
Lora.
BONUS TIP: Write it down. Seriously - no matter what you're doing, write it down. I have tons of notebooks in which I write all kinds of things, from notes during church, to ideas during the day. Plus, my laptop has a handy "Notes" application which I use to record things I want to remember. Another thing about my concussion was it made things difficult to remember, and writing important things down helps a bunch.
When I was working, I had a notebook full of a bunch of notes from my supervisors. Of course, I kept them organized alphabetically based on topic, but that way I could keep track of everything I had been asked to do or keep in mind. (They loved that!) I also kept a pad of Post-It's nearby, in case I got sidetracked while in the middle of something. Once I finished whatever needed to be attended to, I had a note there to tell me where I was before!
Lists are great. It's a lot easier to accomplish everything you want to do if you know what it is you want to do! Additionally, it brings me great joy to cross something off of my list, even if it's a small task. (Speaking of which, don't be shy about writing small tasks down. They need to be completed too, and even if your list is comprised of small tasks, it still feels great to finish!)
*Picture from this site.
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